I heard that Bush is asking congress for $74B to pay for the war. My thoughts on how to pay for it (tic):

1. The Networks should be paying the US government what they would normally be paying for regular programming during the same time slot. War coverage has got to be getting better ratings than most of the crap on TV.
2. Product Placement - Soldiers could have uniforms with Nike or Adidas logo’s, drinking a coke and typing an email on AOL with a DELL.
3. Since the US is “Liberating the Iraqi People”, shouldn’t they pay for part of the war with some of that Iraqi oil. We’ve already captured one major oil field, get that puppy flowing at full force and sell the oil (preferably to the French).
4. Start selling the outtakes of the war as a direct to video offering (your choice of 4 DVD’s or 6 VHS tapes). Of course you may want to have someone in Hollywood add some special effect…
5. Do a “Girls Gone Wild - Iraq” video and sell that. Order now and you also receive “Girls Gone Wild - Army Style”.

In response to Frank`s March Madness.

I love March — it`s one of my favorite times of the year. It`s all about college basketball - the best sport on TV. I love college athletics, especially basketball. Sure college sports are the training ground for the professional leagues (not just the NFL and NBA, but the arena, canadian and european leagues as well), but that ok. Its nice to see an old man like Dick Vitale get so excited about the games.

The college sports by themselves are more entertaining than anything the pro games have to offer. The college game seems more real, because the players know that for many of them, this will be the last time in their life that they will get to compete at this high of a level. Most of them will know by their junior year if they have a shot at the pros. The rest work on learning the game to become coaches at some level, or try to get a degree that they can use in the real world.

Despite what my brother may think, I have met college athletes who had a real career plan that didn`t involve playing their sport. Their is the argument that less than 10 percent of all college athletes will make it to the pros, but that is still the best chance at making money that some of these kids will ever get. Sure beats the heck out of working at Mc Donalds and playing Power Ball (aka the Math Tax). Some universities now have programs students who were on scholarship for 4 years that allow them to continue their education free of charge, for those that failed to figure out earlier that getting a degree is important. A good highschool coach and/or college coach will let their athletes know that the degree is the important part. Quin Snyder of Missouri will call the NBA scouts to find out if his players are on their radar, as a reality check for the athlete.

• High School Painting Contest
  • 3rd place
  • Acrylic paint
  • Picture of a mountain valley
  • Prize: Ribbon
• National High School Photography Contest
  • Honorable Mention
  • Football Picture taken at the State Championship game 1986
  • Mario (forget the last name) blocking an opposing player so Tony Vanzant could get a huge play.  I think he block the player into me, but I did get a real nice picture out of it.
  • Prize: Certificate
• Write like Kofuzi Contest
  • 1st place
  • Entered this and this and thought about entering this and this.
  • Won with this.
  • Prize: 8 packets of something that rhymes with iracle whip.
• Blog Calendar Bingo
  • 3/7/2003 9:20 am  winner
• Now that I have achieved my first 3 goals, I will start work on —
  • Win a Nobel Prize
  • Write a New York Times best seller
  • Figure out what’s for lunch

– Not necessarily in that order.

Are people from Iraq called Iraqnids (Irachnids)?

Jim: Wouldn’t it have been funny if those two women in the elevator had been talking to each other on cell phones?

John: Your mind has a lot of free time, doesn’t it.

Jim: Yes. Yes it does.

ORIGINAL COMMENTS

Submitted by frank at 3/5/2003 5:07:43 PM

You and I just have extra processor cycles that you use — Most other people just don’t have them available. I guess we’re just lucky that way.

Submitted by ben at 3/6/2003 9:49:20 AM

yeah. that’s it.

I got my driver’s license renewed at lunch today.  Even at 10:30 in the morning, there was a line.

CONVERSATION

• Me: I just need to renew my license.
• 1 of 4 people behind the counter doing nothing: Join the line over there.
• Guy 2 people ahead of me: Oh, I’m not in line, I’m just heckling.
• Women in front of me: (smiles) Oh, …
• Me: So you are one of those people who hangs out in the license office heckling people in line?

How is it that if I go in to the License office to renew my Car Plates, there is a huge line for Plate Renewals and no line for Driver’s License Renewals?  Conversely, since I went in for a Driver’s License Renewal today, there was no line for Plate Renewals a large line for Driver’s License Renewals.  Its not like I went to a different office, different time of day, or even different time of the month.  Its gotta be that bastard Murphy.  Whoever elected him to office should be shot. Cynical people like him should not be in legislation.

GOOD/BAD SUMMARY

• GOOD: I don’t have to renew my license for 6 years
• BAD: I missed lunch and they went to Harpo’s
• BAD: I will be 41 when I next have to renew my license
• BAD: I will still probably be driving my 1994 Toyota Camry XLE and talking about buying a BMW convertible