Monthly Archives: April 2003

Order dinner in Burger King’s Drive Through…

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  • Cashier – Welcome to Burger King.  Would you like to try a combo meal?
  • Me – No Thanks.
  • Me – I’ll have 4 taco’s…. a Whopper Jr…. and a ninety nine cent chocolate shake.
  • Cashier – I’m Sorry… our shake machine is broken, and won’t be fixed until Wednesday.
  • Me – That’s OK, I’ll wait.
  • ……………………………………
  • ………………………………..
  • …………………………….
  • …………………………
  • Me – Just kidding
I’m still wondering why Burger King is selling Jack in the Box taco’s.  I’m not complaining mind you, just curious.

COMMENTS

Submitted by kofuzi at 5/2/2003 3:54:40 PM

    i can’t believe you eat the tacos. they deep fry the whole thing. even the lettuce.

    wait a minute, i take that back. i do believe that you eat the tacos. what i now don’t believe is that i haven’t.

Lunch…

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Marshall (the guy who [thankfully] took my job as product manager), was in town this week.  Whenever he is in town, we try to go to Mongolian Bar-b-q for lunch, as apparently Texas doesn’t have much in line of chinese or mongolian restaurants.

The food at the Mongolian restaurant is great (read as — you can’t complain because you are the one who picked out the ingredients and sauces/spices).  The problem is, after lunch you have the world’s worst belches and general GI problems (Gastro intestinal not General Infantry).

I accidentally belched in John O’s cube (very quietly and trying not the exhale).  He was about 8 feet away, and instantly complained.  He suggested that I go eat some cat crap to freshen my breath.  Being a cat owner, I can’t argue with him, the smell almost knocked me over.  He also suggested that they place a litter box on the way out of the restaurant, in lieu of breath mints.

COMMENTS
Submitted by ben at 4/25/2003 3:42:08 PM

    you are a weapon of mass destruction
Submitted by frank at 4/25/2003 4:35:09 PM

    Your breath would knock a vulture off of a shit wagon at 200 yards.
Submitted by jim at 4/25/2003 9:54:50 PM

    …Father’s saying is actually “knock the maggots off a gut wagon”.

    Brenda hates that saying.

Submitted by frank at 4/30/2003 2:18:59 PM

    How does she feel about “slicker than snot on a doorknob?”
Submitted by jim at 5/1/2003 2:28:23 PM

    …less of a visual. She probably wouldn’t mind it as much.

PETCA

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Last year after Easter, one of the guys bought a Chocolate Easter Bunny and placed it in the break room.  He was treating it as a company mascot of sorts.  The bunny had a number of adventures, but soon there was animosity and disdain for the little creature.  After a couple of weeks, someone kidnapped the bunny and sent a ransom note demanding M & M’s.

Despite paying the ransom, as is usually the case, the bunny was never seen alive again.  He was decapitated, his body microwaved, and his head placed in the freezer.  Members of PETCA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Chocolate Animals) were in an uproar.  The kidnapper and murderer were never found.

This year a new Chocolate Easter Bunny was brought into work yesterday.  He has already lost his ears (and had them replaced with plastic forks – giving him a Chocolate Jack-alope appearance), had his eyes gouged out, his back caved in, and a push pin stuck in his side.  His head is currently wrapped in gauze.

I can’t imagine what the PETCA people will do this year.

COMMENTS

Submitted by Nika at 4/28/2003 10:31:32 PM

    What a funny story…I love it! And all for randomly looking up “decapitated chocolate Easter bunny”. Don’t think I’m crazy, just looking for artwork for my CD.

    Nika

It’s my fault…

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I admit it.  It’s my fault that the Blues lost last night.  When picking out a shirt to wear yesterday, I failed to grab my Blue’s shirt.  Although I did grab a blue shirt, it was not a Blues logo shirt.  I’m certain that my lack of obvious and apparent support for the team cost them.

My apologies to the Avalanche as well.  Even though I own an Av’s hat, I did not even consider wearing it yesterday.

The Cardinals crappy start can also be blamed on me.  Although I own several Cardinal shirts, I have not worn any of them this year.

While we are at it, sorry about Cancer and SARS.  I didn’t realize they were such a horrible diseases.  I won’t do it again.

COMMENTS

Submitted by frank at 4/23/2003 8:41:39 AM

    Dougie Weight was one of my best playoff performers and put me in first — franksblog.hofer.us/66 — and his loss is really going to hurt. In fact, I think he’s the only Blue that busted his ass every game. My predictions were 5-3, but I did predict the Ducks over the Wings.

    So, is coach Q, and GM Larry going to be unemployed?

Submitted by ben at 4/23/2003 9:13:23 AM

    they teased me. i didn’t watch all season. i just happened to be surfing channels last week and picked up game 3. i watched 4, 5 and 6. I watched the detroit get squashed by anaheim goalie gigeire(sp). i got reeled into thinking we had a shot at the cup. damn those blues. “just when you thought you was out, they DRAG you back in”. true to form, they choked last night. they didn’t even seem to be trying. they didn’t chase the puck. they didn’t finish their checks. they where O-fer on the power plays. they let in a short-handed goal. damn them. they didn’t seem to come to life until the end of the third period.

Blog Shorts….

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I’ve found that I have a new annoying habit.  Anytime someone sends me a completely  BS email, I look it up on http://www.snopes.com and do a reply to all with the link that explains the origin of the email and why it is BS (OK, there was actually one case where the email was at least partially factual, but I let everyone know about that as well).

I’m sure some of my friends and relatives are getting sick of this, but I guess that I am hoping they will start checking their facts before they propogate this crap.

Stepping down from soap box…

I took the kids swimming at the Rec-Plex last night.  Justin has recently gotten the guts to go down the water slide.  We had just gotten changed and he was walking over to the slide for the first time last night, when he slipped and hit his head on the deck (YES, he was walking, not running).  No blood, but the lifeguards made a big deal about it, taking him to the office and putting ice on his head.He did get up the nerve to try the slide again after a while, but he walked extremely slow over to it and up the stairs.

After swimming for an hour or so, I had him “practice for swim team”.  This consisted of jumping in and swimming 25 yards of freestyle.  I was pretty impressed, although his flutter kick is a little too similar to brother Mike’s (I’ll have to work hard and quickly to correct that).

Danielle and Alli wanted to try too. Danielle made it probably 10 yards before she held onto the rope.  Alli treaded water a bit, and I pretty much carried her the 25 yards.  I picked up Danielle at about the 12.5 yard mark, swam the rest carrying both of them…that is a workout…OR…I am really out of swimming shape.