Conversation I overheard at work

A guy at work has a history of pissing people off.  He is trying to be funny, but many times the people he is trying to joke with don’t seem to realize that he is kidding.  I just walked into the following conversation he was having with another coworker.  He relayed the following story:

  • Guy that Pisses People Off (GPPO): My TIVO doesn’t get a signal sometimes, I think its a hardware problem and if it is I want to see if it will be covered.
  • DirectTV Support (DTS): Hold on, let me check with may manager (delay).
  • DTS: My manager says that its Sun Spots.
  • GPPO: You’re kidding right?  Its not sun spots.  I’m just wondering if it is the card in the receiver if thats covered.
  • DTS: My manager says its sun spots.  We get them every October.
  • GPPO: Its not sun spots. Look, if I cut the dish off the side of my house,…
  • DTS: If you cut the dish, you won’t get a signal…
  • GPPO: I think its hardware, I have 2 receivers, one of them gets a signal…
  • DTS: Well you have 2 LMB’s…
  • GPPO: I know about LMB’s, you have one at 18 volts, one at (I zoned out at this point)…I just want to know if the card is bad, will it be covered?
  • DTS: There are 3 more days of Sun Spots.
  • GPPO: Can I talk to your manager?
  • DTS: My manager is busy.
  • GPPO: I’ll wait, put me on hold.
  • DTS: Fine. (hold music then click)

GPPO then called back and spoke with a different DirectTV Support person (DDTS)

  • GPPO: I just got off the phone with someone in you group.  I was trying to figure out if a faulty card was covered by your support program.
  • DDTS: No it won’t be covered.
  • GPPO: It won’t?
  • DDTS: No, because you spilled water on your TIVO while watering your fern.
  • GPPO: No I didn’t.  There’s not even a plant by my TIVO.
  • DDTS: It say so right here in the call log.
  • GPPO: Are you sure you have my account up?
  • DDTS: Yes sir.
  • GPPO: When was that entry made?
  • DDTS: Just a few minutes ago.