…for Hofer’s …

“Hey Mike, go pull that lever”

We moved into our new cubes yesterday afternoon. I now sit across from Ben instead of next to him, so of course one of the first things I had to do this morning was throw a squishy-ball at him*.

My aim was a little off, so instead of hitting him directly, the ball hit just behind his back, bounced off the back of his chair, hit the cube wall, then deflected off his monitor to hit him squarly in the crotch.

I’ll need several more attempts to see if I can duplicate the shot.

*In the old cubes, I had to bounce it off the window to hit him.

1. NeverTear Us Apart (INXS)
2. Sweetest Perfection (Depeche Mode)
3. Your Complex (Ned’s Atomic Dustbin)
4. Pleasure Little Treasure (Depeche Mode)
5. Kingdom Chairs (Soup Dragons)
6. Dead To The World (Finns)
7. Inside Out (Mighty Lemon Drops)
8. One Thing (INXS)
9. Basket Case (Green Day)
10. Mr. Jones (Talking Heads)
11. All I Want (The Cure)

1. Email Addresses ( 1 hotmail, 3 Gmail, 1 Hofer, 1 work — countless others that I forgot the login for)
2. Blogs/websites (1 active, at least 4 dead)
3. Personal Business Cards (5 or 6 boxes with different titles)
4. Other People’s Business Cards in my Desk (more than 50, many for people I whom I don’t really know)
5. Reference Books That I never Reference (at least a dozen, including:
   • The Java 1.1 Developer’s Handbook (used to put my laptop at the same level as my other monitor)
   • Installshield 6 an dInstallshield 7 documentation (we currently use v10.5 or 11)
   • SQL Anywhere documentation (haven’t touched SQL Anywhere in 3+ years)
   • MSSQL Server 6 documentation
   • Jim Grey’s Benchmark Handbook

   )

6. Empty Chocolate Covered Almond Containers - 14

* We are moving offices tomorrow, so I was checking email and had a chance to survey the contents of my office.

• Yesterday I spent 4 hours on the phone with another development office explaining how to use software that they have had as much training on as I have.
• Jack has ANOTHER ear infection. The Vet said chronic ear infections can be a result of food alergies. I thought this sounded a little strange, but according to this…
  

  When dogs have repeat ear infections it’s often because of underlying allergies. Here’s the deal: Either flea allergies, food allergies, bacterial allergies,or inhalant allergies (also known as atopy) …or any combination of these allergies irritate the mast cells that are concentrated in the canals of the dog’s ears.These are just like the mast cells humans have concentrated in their respiratory system that release histamine, prostaglandins, and other inflammatory chemicals.

  These itchy, inflammatory chemicals released by the mast cells stimulate the glands in the ear to over-produce ear wax and other secretions.

  These waxy, gooey ears then become infected by skin bacteria which thrive in such an environment. Bacteria does especially well in flop ear dogs where the increased temperature in the ear canal is just right for bacterial incubation because of that cozy flap.

  An ear canal with a fermenting vat of skin bacteria and ear wax then attracts yeast spores to germinate. This whole process is very irritating to the ear canals which become thickened, puffy, and ever more productive.

  It’s a frustrating cycle that often is broken only if you fight off all the main components: Get the underlying allergies under control. Get the bacterial infection under control. Get the yeast under control. Get the damaged ear canal tissue to heal.

• Danielle starts MAP testing today. Justin starts it next week. I know the school administrators are stressed about how well the students do on these tests, but I think it is unfair to push that stress down to children in 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade. They get the kids so worked up about doing well on the test, that it has to be counterproductive. I can see letting the parents know when the testing is so they don’t schedule anything for that week and they make sure that the kids get plenty of rest, but does it really make sense to stress out the students over a test that doesn’t really affect them (I’m sorry, although you have a perfect score on the SAT, we see that you only hit the 75 percentile on the MAP test in 3rd grade, so we don’t think you are quite right for our University).

• Danielle: Dad, some people believe some things…
• Danielle: Like there is one boy in my class that believes in monsters
• Me: Uh huh.
• Danielle: Like shadow monsters.
• Danielle: But shadows are formed when you block sun light; when something gets in the way of the light.
• Me: That’s true.
• Danielle: You need to think about these things scientifically
• Me: That IS a good way to look at things.
• Danielle: Of course scientists might be able to make a monster…
• Danielle: But it would still just be an animal.

by Arnie Geddon (5/5/2003)

Eon Galactic Inquirer sources have reported that at 6:55 pm EST today, the planet Earth was destroyed when the star known as the Sun went supernova. The fiery eruption melted all 9 planets in the solar system instantaneously in an amazing display of raw power.

Eyewitnesses say the force and heat of the explosion could be felt for miles away. The cause of the supernova is not yet known, but foul play has not been ruled out.

The planet earth was home to more than 4 Billion humans, as well as other, more tolerable and pleasant creatures. None are believed to have survived this catastrophe.

EGI has attempted to contact a number of world leaders to confirm these reports and for comment, including the United States President George Bush, but none have returned our calls. The only official comment on this report came from the former Iraqi Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf.

In his statement, Mr. Sahaf said - “The world did not end. The Earth was not destroyed. Only the United States was destroyed, and this was caused not by some ‘Super’ nova, but by the holy fires of Allah.”

As Mr. Sahaf’s credibility has been lacking of late, and since EGI has not received a formal response from any other world leader, we are fairly certain that the Earth was in fact destroyed.