BREAKING NEWS: World Ends in a blast

by Arnie Geddon (5/5/2003)

Eon Galactic Inquirer sources have reported that at 6:55 pm EST today, the planet Earth was destroyed when the star known as the Sun went supernova. The fiery eruption melted all 9 planets in the solar system instantaneously in an amazing display of raw power.

Eyewitnesses say the force and heat of the explosion could be felt for miles away. The cause of the supernova is not yet known, but foul play has not been ruled out.

The planet earth was home to more than 4 Billion humans, as well as other, more tolerable and pleasant creatures. None are believed to have survived this catastrophe.

EGI has attempted to contact a number of world leaders to confirm these reports and for comment, including the United States President George Bush, but none have returned our calls. The only official comment on this report came from the former Iraqi Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf.

In his statement, Mr. Sahaf said – “The world did not end. The Earth was not destroyed. Only the United States was destroyed, and this was caused not by some ‘Super’ nova, but by the holy fires of Allah.”

As Mr. Sahaf’s credibility has been lacking of late, and since EGI has not received a formal response from any other world leader, we are fairly certain that the Earth was in fact destroyed.