BREAKING NEWS: Earth Quarantined due to SARS outbreak

By Arnie Geddon (5/27/2003)

The planet Earth has been quarantined by the MHO (Milkyway Health Organization) due to the outbreak of SARS on certain parts of the planet. The disease SARS (Sudden Onset Accute Resperatory Syndrome) spreads more quickly and is more severe in extraterrestrials than in humans. Ironically CNN is reporting that the SARS Virus came from outerspace.

As reported here, SARS is being used by invading aliens as a form of biological weapon, but the aliens obviously did not comprehend the danger of the disease to themselves. For more information on the disease and its affects on aliens, EGI contacted Dr. William Smitzell. Doctor Smitzell offered this explanation.

“As you may know, alien lungs are not as well developed as human lungs and spending all that time in space ships has an adverse affect on ones immune system. Since the disease has been introduced on the planet, it has mutated to a point where it is extremely deadly to extraterrestrials. If this disease were to be transported off the planet Earth, humans might soon be the only intelligent life in the galaxy.”

EGI has learned that fear of SARS has virtually eliminated all alien contact with our planet. In fact since the discovery of the disease, there have been no confirmed alien abductions or UFO sitings. Even last weeks planned invasion of the planet has been post-poned until the disease can be brought under control, or at the very least an alien vaccine is available.

Doctor Smitzell did offer some comforting words. “Be assured that all available efforts are being made to create a vaccine that is suitable for use by aliens. With any luck, normal interplanetary relations should resume within a couple of weeks.”