By Arnie Geddon (7/7/2003)
In a press release issued earlier today, God and Satan have agreed to have there final battle for the souls of all living men on Thursday. The two plan to meet in Las Vegas, Nevada for a pay-per-view event.
“I’m gonna beat the hell out of him. He knows he can’t take me. I’ve been kicking his ass for years”, stated God in the pre-fight press conference.
“He knows I’m the baddest mutha (#%*& that he’s ever seen. He doesn’t stand a chance. I’ve been looking forward to this forever.”, replied Satan
Each fighter is guaranteed 100 million souls for participating in the fight. The winner will receive approximately 4 billion souls. Vegas is currently placing odds at 3/2 in favor of God, but experts expect the odds to be even money by the day of the fight.
Those watching the fight will be treated to a front row seat to the apocalypse, which will begin immediately following the fight.
create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.
* My criteria for states visited is that I’ve either eaten there, drove through it, or taken a dump there.
- Talk To Ya Later (The Tubes)
- Shake It Up (The Cars)
- Any Second Now (Depeche Mode)
- What Gives My Son? (Ned’s Atomic Dustbin)
- Blue Blue Ocean (Echo and the Bunnymen)
- Closedown (The Cure)
- Regress, No Way! (7 Seconds)
- Prove My Love (Violent Femmes)
- The Family’s Stoned (Finns)
- Hot Cha (They Might Be Giants)
- Up The Junction (Squeeze)
- Monday – After the first day of school, Allison had piano lessons. She is getting pretty good – Not Schmitz good, but pretty good for an 8 year old.
- Tuesday – Around 3 pm I got a call from one of our company’s sale’s people saying that they had a few extra seats for the Cardinals Game. It turned out it was 10 seats in one of the party rooms (read air conditioning, beer, and food). I distributed the tickets around the office, keeping 3 for myself. I took Justin and Danielle to the game; Allison doesn’t really enjoy it that much and had other things going on. Party rooms are a great way to watch a game, but it’s not something a normal person could afford without a company paying the way. The kids really enjoyed it and had been to enough baseball games to realize that it was something special.
- Wednesday – Justin is competing in the First Lego League Robotics competition again this year*. The game board and Legos for the challenges arrived, so the team was very eager to start building. The seven kids broke into groups and started the assembly process, but after an hour they only made a small dent in the projects.
- Thursday – Danielle had her first golf lesson at the Family Golf Complex in O’fallon. She said it was a lot of fun, but she was tired from hitting so many balls (75 to 100 I would guess).
* By the way, if anyone is interested in sponsoring us, let me know. We are also doing a fund raiser – NFL Football raffle tickets – details here.