By Allison Hofer
Spiders and Eggs do not get along well. Once I was frying an egg on the street, but two spiders were trapped under it and died. I didn’t eat the spider omelet. It needed salt. I like eggs without spiders in them. And I like spiders without eggs on them.
One time I found a bunch of spiders under my bike. All of the sudden, my dog Jack started chasing the spiders. It wasn’t much of a chase, since they were small and relatively slow and Jack is big and relatively fast. He ate them. He didn’t say how they tasted on account of him being a dog. He threw up in the grass later. I’m not sure if that’s because he ate spiders or because he was drinking out of the magic well that I use for teaching spiders how to swim. He didn’t say how that tasted either.