My psychic powers are telling me that I will see this comic on several skeptic sites today –
In a surprise move, the White House and Republican in Congress have agreed to support the merger of Microsoft and Oracle. It was initially expected that a merger of this magnitude would be opposed at the highest levels. EGI has learned that Microsoft has struck a deal with the Republican Party to improve the Republican party’s image in exchange for Federal backing of the merger.
A pair of EGI reporters uncovered this secret agreement accidentally, while exchanging instant messages. Using Microsoft’s Windows Messenger and MSN Messenger, the reporters were discussing Senator Rick Santorum (R). When the message with Senator Rick Santorum (R) was transmitted via MSN messenger, the (R) was switched to a rainbow. The reporters instantly recognized the rainbow as the symbol of homosexuality acceptance and racial acceptance.
This subliminal suggestion may have been forgotten, until later in the conversation the two reporters were discussing Senator Ted Kennedy (D). Not surprisingly, the (D) in the transmission was converted to a martini glass. The martini glass implies that all Democrats are drunks.
With this evidence in hand, EGI felt it need to investigate the story. Microsoft developers admitted, off the record, that this was only a small part of a much larger plan to improve the Republican’s image while discrediting the Democrats. In the coming weeks and months, MSN and MSNBC will begin to air a number of stories that present key Democratic officials and the Democratic presidential candidates in a negative light.
Conversation overheard at India’s Kitchen
- Waiter of Indian or Pakistani Descent[WoIoPD] : Can I get you something to drink?
- Group of 3[Go3]: In a minute. We want to look at the buffet first.
- Go3: [Looks at buffet for a few minutes then returns to table]
- WoIoPD: Would you like anything to drink?
- Go3: No thank you. We are going to a different restaurant.
- WoIoPD: Would you like to see a menu first.
- Go3: No thank you, we didn’t realize this was an Indian Restaurant.
- Me [a little too loudly]: Who would have thought a place named India’s Kitchen would be an Indian restaurant.
- Coworker: Perhaps they thought it was Apache or Navajo food.
- What are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurts. No problem. There’s a popping sound preceding each, we can avoid that. Two, the Lightning Sand. But you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.
- Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.’s?
- Rodents of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist…
or maybe they do
Scientists have discovered the remains of a rodent the size of a small car which used to forage the South American continent. The 1-ton creature is believed to have been about 3 meters in length and 1.5 meters tall.
The giant rat’s skull, which measures an impressive 53 centimeters in diameter was found by Andrés Rinderknecht and Ernesto Blanco, two scientists from Montevideo, Uruguay.
The two paleontologists stumbled upon the fossilized remains in a broken boulder in San Jose along the coast of Uruguay.
By looking at the size ratios of the skulls and bodies of existing rodents, scientists determined the bodyweight of the rodent must have approached 1,000 kilograms or a ton, making it the world’s largest rodent to have been discovered to date.