Search for Osama bin Laden Expanded

On Wednesday, January 14th, President George Bush announced plans to increase funding for NASA with plans to return astronauts to the moon and eventually to Mars. EGI has learned that President Bush’s sudden interest in the space program is driven not by a desire to explore the solar system, but by the inability to track down al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden.

Although EGI has confirmed that Osama bin Laden was hiding out in a cave in southern California as recently as November 24th, White House officials are convinced that Osama has rejoined his base of operation on the lunar surface.

Hints of the true mission purpose were evident in the President’s speech. “We will give NASA a new focus and vision. We will build new ships to carry man forward into the universe, to gain a new foothold on the moon to prepare for new journeys to the worlds beyond our own,” Bush said. “Mankind is drawn to the heavens for the same reason we were once drawn into unknown lands…”

Bush proposed spending $12 billion over the next five years on the effort. About $1 billion of that will come from an increase in NASA’s budget, while the other $11 billion would come from shifting funds from existing programs within NASA’s current $86 billion budget.

Some in Congress questioned whether the funding would be enough to achieve the president’s ambitious goals.

Rumors abound that al Qaeda is already developing ships and equipment to move their permanent base to Mars.