VATICAN CITY (AP) — In a continuing effort to appeal to young people, Pope John Paul II presided over a performance by Rap star Eminem. The 83-year-old pontiff seemed to approve, tapping his hand to each song, and then applauding for the entire performance. He watched the concert from a raised throne.

Repeating his new catch phrase, the pontiff said “Artistic talent is a gift from God and whoever discovers it in himself has a certain obligation: to know that he cannot waste this talent, but must develop it.”

“For this creative hard work I bless you from my heart,” he said.

Pope John Paul II later told EGI, “It’s obvious that Eminem has strong commitment to family values. Look at the lyrics to his song ‘It’s OK’ -
‘One day I plan to be a family man happily married
I wanna grow to be so old that I have to be carried
Till I’m glad to be buried
And leave this crazy world
And have at least a half a million for my baby girl’”

“I also enjoyed the song ‘My name is’. In it Eminem definitely makes a reference to being sent by God. I couldn’t make out all of the lyrics, but I’m pretty sure he made a reference to procreation with a Spice Girl. Naturally he meant after marriage. It was nice to hear lyrics that support the Catholic principals through such a popular artist.”

Eminem seemed enthused by the visit as well. “I can’t believe I just performed in front of the Mother [expletive] Pope. That was un[expletive] real. Once I [find some] Italian [women] this will be the best [expletive] day of my [expletive] life.”

Based on the positive response to this performance, the Vatican is considering booking Madonna, Britney Spears, and Fifty Cent to play before the pontiff.

originally posted 2/2/2004

Taurus: I know you are still upset about Ford naming a crappy car after you, but you have to get over it. And it could have been worse; it could have been the Focus.