Humans to be Eradicated

The Galactic Environmental Protection Agency (GEPA) has reversed its early decision to place humans on their Endangered Species List. GEPA is now harnessing nuclear technology to try to eradicate the humans whose destructive nature is devastating the planet Earth.

GlikKnols, a humanologist at the Galactic Environmental Protection Agency, estimates that humans are causing irreparable harm to the planet and its other, more hospitable creatures.

“The other Earth creatures suffer the major burden… of mortality,” he told EGI during a tour of the GEPA’s humanology laboratories.

The Sterile Human Technique (SHT) is a simple idea. Scientists breed humans and expose the males to enough radiation to render them sterile. The males are then released into the environment to breed with the females, whose eggs are unfertilized and never develop.

“The whole idea or concept is that the population would actually start to crash and eventually may actually lead to eradication of the human, and therefore eradication of the problems they cause,” said GlikKnols, who has personally suffered through working with humans.

GlakErikTak, the humanologist in charge of the GEPA’s humanology unit, said the $4 million project was still in its infancy. He described it as a “high-risk project” with many hurdles to overcome before it is ready for field trials.

Over the next five years, they need to reach a point where they can produce a million sterile male humans a day.

The males they breed must be robust enough to survive when released into the environment and tough enough to compete with fertile males during mating. The biggest problem is that human women mate indiscriminately and very frequently.

GlikKnols and GlakErikTak point out that in the 1940s, Elalvador successfully used the SHT to eradicate humans from part of the planet.

“They brought that human into the lab, started producing it in large numbers, sterilized it and then released it in a small area… about 15 square kilometers, and successfully induced 100 percent sterility in the population,” Knols said.

Afterwards, they started a much larger project in which they were producing a million male humans a day. But when civil war broke out the project ended.

“We think we can do a better job than they did in Elalvador,” said GlakErikTak.

He said the technique of sterilization could not be used all over the Earth and would have to be combined with other population control techniques to eradicate the pest.

“But there’s no alternative to irradiation for the sterile human technique. It’s a very clean technique,” he said, adding that there was no risk of contamination. “The humans are not radioactive when they’re released.”