New Years Gift…

…From pwjagwdyecn Cynthia Davis:

On Wednesday, I will be sworn in to this office for the fourth time. This will be the last time I will be participating in the inaugural events as a state representative. According to the Missouri Constitution, I am now prohibited from ever running for this seat again.

I started to cheer, but of course the gift isn’t without its downside…

 [un]Fortunately, I have two years left to make a difference for my constituents. I have already pre-filed several bills to be considered in the next session.

Santa Claus Hospitalized

Chris Cringle (a.k.a. Kris Kringle, a.k.a. Santa Claus, a.k.a. St. Nick [St. Nicholas], a.k.a. Pappa Noel, …) was hospitalized Sunday morning, after suffering an apparent heart attack.  Santa’s “friend”, known only as twinkle-toes, reports that he was with Mr. Claus at the time of the heart attack.

“Kris and I had been celebrating the finish of another year.  Kris told me that this years Christmas had been especially stressful and that his legal problems had prevented him from being as prepared as he normally would have been.  We have a kind of tradition.  We began drinking early on the 31st, and continued to party through Saturday night, stopping only for food and short naps.” said twinkle-toes.  “I noticed that he looked a little pale, and he complained several times since Christmas that his arm hurt.  I figured he pulled a muscle and was just fatigued from his annual Christmas night business.”

Dr. Sanjay Mirashnifalikalikahn, a heart surgeon at Detroit Regional Hospital, provide insight into Mr. Claus’ condition.  “The man is grossly overweight and has extremely high cholesterol.  Considering his age and health, I’m surprised he hasn’t had heart attacks before now.”

Dr Mirashnifalikalikahn went on to say, “Mr. Claus is recovering fine.  We performed an emergency quadruple bypass.  One thing that is certain, Santa’s diet will have to change.  The man drinks whole milk and eats lots of cookies and treats.”

The lawyer representing Santa, with Rintala, Smoot, Jaenicke and Rees, a high power Los Angeles-based law firm who’s clients also include Ben Affleck, told EGI that they are considering a law suit against the city of Detroit, claiming the city was at least partially responsible for Santa’s heart attack.

Blog Shorts

  • We hadn’t gotten around to getting our Christmas Tree until last night.  For once procrastination paid off — All Christmas Trees at Lowes were $1.  The tree we got looks great and probably would have cost $40 or more dollars a week ago.
  • When I got my iPhone, I bulk copied all of the songs from my computer to the iPhone, including stuff that was on their for Mrs. Mosquito Eater and the Larva.  This resulted in the rather unpleasant result of actually listening to the start of a Carpenter’s song the other day.  Added to that misery, John Denver’s Rocky Mountain High and Thank God I’m a Country Boy have been getting WAY too much playing time in the van.  At least I have things like Ministry’s cover of Supernaut and What a Wonderful World on my iPhone to cleanse my auditory pallette.

Friday – iPhone Random 4
With blog shorts (depressing that I’m just that busy)

  1. The Middle (Jimmy Eat World)
  2. Seattle (Public Image Ltd.)
  3. Goodbye Girl (Squeeze)
  4. World (New Order)
  • Danielle’s last basketball game of the season is this weekend.  The team is 0 – 5 and things don’t look promising for this weekend.
  • Allison was in the Ice Show at the Rec-Plex last weekend.  Her Syncro Skating team is looking pretty good considering that they have only been skating together for a couple of months.

Friday – iPhone Random 10 + 1
With blog shorts

  1. Good Thing – Fine Young Cannibals
  2. Letterbox – They Might Be Giants
  3. If You Love Somebody Set Them Free – Sting
  4. Rock ‘N’ Roll Ghost – The Replacements
  5. The Badge – Pantera (The Crow Soundtrack)
  6. King of Birds – R.E.M.
  7. Get Up – R.E.M.
  8. Turn You Inside-Out – R.E.M.
  9. (I Was Born In A) Laundromat – Camper Van Beethoven
  10. The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite – R.E.M.
  11. Everything Counts – Depeche Mode
  • Between holidays and being insanely busy at work, I haven’t even logged in to twitter in weeks, let alone blogging.  My apologies to the two people who may have noticed.
  • In all honesty, there hasn’t been anything uniquely interesting to blog about anyway that you couldn’t find out about in more detail by reading the sites on my blog roll.