Terrorist Group claims Responsibility
for Additional Natural Occurrences

Arabs, Austrians, Asians, Australians, and Aliens Joint Jihad Against America (AAAAAJJAA) has added to their claims that two recent Meteorite impacts were actual attacks against America. The group is now claiming that recent hail storms are further proof that they possess the technology to use Mother Nature against the “Evils of America and it’s accomplices.”

Over Memorial Day Weekend, massive storms hit the Midwest, including baseball size hail near Kansas City Missouri. The AAAAAJJAA is claiming that this was just the first in a series of planned attacks.

The group did not claim responsibility for this attack until they had successful hit President Bush’s home state of Texas on June 22.

Strong winds and hail the size of baseballs pounded the Texas Panhandle, knocking out almost all of the windows on one end of a six-story hospital in Amarillo. One patient was injured by flying glass.

“It blew out the lobby. The windows are shattered. They blew in on the patients,” said Mary Barlow, a spokeswoman for Baptist St. Anthony’s Hospital. “It is horrible that these Terrorists would target a hospital.”

Barlow said the hospital’s neonatal intensive care unit was hit and about a dozen babies were doing fine after being moved to the newborn nursery.

“One patient had a gash to his leg from flying glass,” Barlow said.

Homes and vehicles in Amarillo were damaged by hail up to baseball size, and there were reports of damage at car lots as well as flooding at some underpasses.

Other storms hit West Texas, where trees were knocked down in San Saba County.

A spokesperson for AAAAAJJAA told EGI, “We want people to know that we can hit them no matter where they are. No one who supports America should consider themselves safe.”

Anti-environmentalists Plan Day of Action

OLYMPIA, Washington — The FBI has told law enforcement agencies across the country that radical anti-environmentalists may stage protests, possibly violent ones, this weekend in support of a jailed arsonist.

The FBI bulletin said the Opposition to Resource Conservation (ORC) reportedly was planning a “day of action and solidarity” that could include acts of ecoterrorism, according to Tor Bjornstad, a police commander in Olympia, one of several cities named as possible targets.

Some of the others were Eugene; Oregon; San Francisco; Modesto, California; Morgantown, West Virginia; Portland, Maine; Worcester, Massachusetts; Lake Worth, Florida; and Lawrence, Kansas, Bjornstad said.

The general warning was part of a weekly intelligence bulletin the FBI distributed to some 18,000 law enforcement agencies on Wednesday, said Bill Carter, a spokesman in the FBI’s Washington, D.C., headquarters.

No specific targets were identified in the bulletin, Bjornstad said. He said his department contacted what it considered potential targets, including Recycling Centers, Green Party Offices and hybrid car dealerships.

“We have to take it seriously, and one of the reasons is that this group has claimed credit for a fair amount of criminal activity in the past,” Bjornstad said.

ORC has been linked to fires and vandalism at agriculture research labs, logging operations, car dealerships and construction sites. The group has defended its actions as efforts to stop companies from trying to protect the environment.

A Web site titled “International Day of Action & Solidarity” featured a list of events planned for Saturday, including protests at hybrid car dealerships.

Angus Vrock, an ORC member is serving a 22-year sentence in Oregon for a 2004 arson at an auto dealership and an attempted arson at an oil company.

Eco-extremists groups claim responsibility for lumber fire

SALT LAKE CITY, Utah — An extremist anti-environmental group has claimed responsibility for a .5 million lumber yard fire in Utah, officials said Wednesday.

“We’re taking it most seriously,” said FBI special agent Bob Wright.

The FBI has determined the Stock Building Supply fire in West Jordan was arson and said the letters “ORC” were spray painted on property at the site of the blaze.

The ORC letters are those of the Opposition to Resource Conservation, an extremist anti-environmental group responsible for millions of dollars in damage.

The FBI is also investigating a one-page fax sent to Salt Lake City radio station KSL with an ORC heading and claiming responsibility for the fire.

“We’re trying to determine if the fax is authentic and if there is any connection to the building supply incident,” Wright said.

The ORC fax said the Stock Building Supply lumber yard was targeted because it was considering repairs to its polluting forklifts and because they prominently displayed recycling bins outside of their offices. The ORC fax went on to say that if lumber companies do not step up their logging efforts and stop planting new trees, more companies would be targeted.”

The FBI says the fax also identified four other Utah businesses as targets, including a recycling facility. The fax is prompting law enforcement to beef up security at those locations.

Wright went on to say, “Ironically, ELF (Earth Liberation Front) is also claiming responsibility. Their claim doesn’t carry as much weight though, considering the amount of pollution that was produced as a result of the lumber fire.”

“ORC and ELF have been in opposition to each other from the very beginning. It is strange that they would both be claiming responsibility. Our best guess is that ORC started the fire and ELF saw it as a chance to get some name recognition.”

John Kerry Arrested as Enemy Combatant

Massachusetts Senator John Kerry and a paramilitary group of former US Navy and Army personnel were arrested yesterday in Boston harbor.  Kerry, who was a US Navy Swift boat commander in Vietnam, was leading the group of combatants in what officials are referring to as a dry run for an attack against the city of Boston.

The boat carrying Senator Kerry was surrounded by Apache helicopters and forced to dock near a number of awaiting FBI agents.  In an unusual move, President Bush was onboard one of the helicopters.  The President was heard to say, “That’s the man.  That’s the one that’s been terrorizing me.”

Attorney General John Ashcroft told EGI, “Someone as dangerous as Senator Kerry must be stopped.  To our enemies, I say we will continue to be vigilant against all threats, whether they come from overseas or at home in America.”

Ascroft went on to say that Senator Kerry would be treated as an “enemy combatant” of the United States, a move that means he has fewer legal rights than an ordinary defendant in a criminal case.

“We have acted under the laws of war and under the clear Supreme Court precedent which established that the military may detain a United States citizen who has joined the enemy and has entered our country to carry out hostile acts,” Ashcroft said.

“Al Qaeda officials knew that as a citizen of the United States, as a U.S. Senator and citizen of the United States holding a valid U.S. passport, Kerry would be able to travel freely in the United States without drawing attention to himself.”

U.S. officials later said an “associate” of John Kerry, a Mr. John Edwards had been arrested in Boston earlier in the day.  Both men, along with the other members of the paramilitary group that Kerry was arrested with are being transported to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba for further questioning.

Interstellar Terrorist found on Earth

Members of the Galactic Federation of Planets are seeking the extradition of known Interstellar Terrorist, George Lucas.  Mr Lucas has been living on Earth for a number of years, attempting to recruit members for his terrorist organization.

Zatr Pleloc, spokesperson for the Galactic Federation, was quoted – “Most earthlings know Mr. Lucas for his Star Wars movies.  It’s surprising how many humans consider his propaganda as harmless entertainment, but as can be seen at any of the movie premiers, far too many humans are being brainwashed into his line of thinking.  In his movies, Mr Lucas promotes the slaying of innocent federation soldiers and civilians.”

EGI sources have found out that prior to arriving on Earth, Mr. Lucas participated in the destruction of two federation Space Stations, not only killing thousands of soldiers, but hundreds of civilian construction workers.

In the United States, actors and directors alike have come out in support of George Lucas, claiming that he is exercising his first amendment rights and pointing out that he has committed no acts of violence since arriving on our planet.
The governments of the world have not responded to the request to extradite Mr. Lucas.  US President George Bush has demanded that the Federation provide proof of Mr. Lucas’s involvement in these terrorist acts.

Spokesperson Pleloc, has stated that the federation need not supply proof at this time and that doing so would undermine its intelligence efforts.  Spokesperson Pleloc also stated that the Federation would use force if the governments of the world do not willingly turn over Mr. Lucas in a timely fashion.