For the next couple of weeks at work, I am suppose to switch out of developer mode and back into QA mode. QA is not always the most exciting job, so to spice it up, I’ve decided to start classifying product bugs.
- Gnats – small but annoying
- Dung Beatles – only there because of other people’s shit
- Killer Bees – can cause fatalities
- Roaches – was here when I got here. Will be here when I leave
- Termites – will slowly eat away the entire foundation of the app
- Army ants – moves from one place to another, destroying everything in its path
- Mosquito – may not be a problem, but just might kill you
- Caterpillers – If I ever get it right, it will be a butterfly instead
- Horse Fly – I hate those F^(&ers. Get rid of it even if it causes me a little pain [[ Brother John can testify as to how hard I will hit him to kill a horse fly — really, there was a horse fly there.]]
I’m sure there will be more…
Last year after Easter, one of the guys bought a Chocolate Easter Bunny and placed it in the break room. He was treating it as a company mascot of sorts. The bunny had a number of adventures, but soon there was animosity and disdain for the little creature. After a couple of weeks, someone kidnapped the bunny and sent a ransom note demanding M & M’s.
Despite paying the ransom, as is usually the case, the bunny was never seen alive again. He was decapitated, his body microwaved, and his head placed in the freezer. Members of PETCA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Chocolate Animals) were in an uproar. The kidnapper and murderer were never found.
This year a new Chocolate Easter Bunny was brought into work yesterday. He has already lost his ears (and had them replaced with plastic forks – giving him a Chocolate Jack-alope appearance), had his eyes gouged out, his back caved in, and a push pin stuck in his side. His head is currently wrapped in gauze.
I can’t imagine what the PETCA people will do this year.
Submitted by Nika at 4/28/2003 10:31:32 PM
What a funny story…I love it! And all for randomly looking up “decapitated chocolate Easter bunny”. Don’t think I’m crazy, just looking for artwork for my CD.